There is something about humanity, specifically in america, but really all over this world.  The same things drive us, though we might not necessarily know why or how.  I think it really is beauty, sometimes best seen in that I-got-your-joke sort of way.  To really "get" people.  I think there are some who rarely experience that, and that's sad.

My dog always seems to get me.  I think it's 'cause he's always in the moment.  Not worrying 'bout the future or lamenting the past, he's just throw the ball for me now please.

Was with Friends tonight, listening to relationshipal problems, commenting where appropriate, but also listening to myself listen to myself with those comments.  Sometimes, we're our best teachers, if we care to listen.

I skipped down the seven blocks (okay, I took my truck) to the closest bar and it was a little different tonight.  Dunno if it's 'cause it's Tuesday night at 12:30 or what but the place was full of men catering to the alternative sexual lifestyle.

I don't have any problem with that; it's just not the bar I remember.  I only drop in there once every five or six months or so for a nightcap.  The bartender's friendly, engaging in conversation but picks up on the more subtle signals that I might just be in there for a quick drink.

Was approached twice in the fifteen minutes I was there for two double Jacks on the rocks.  The first guy was sitting a couple barstools down from me and, as he left in a somewhat obvious blur, said under his breath as he walked behind me, just so I could hear it, "You're so f*ing cute."  The second from an older gentleman who disseminated his status through conversation with the bartender about the current lack of music from the jukebox with the not-so-subtle "I've got some older gay man music in my car, Annie Lenox".  The bartender feigned ignorance of said artist.  'Course, given the fact he was wearing a thrash metal t-shirt, perhaps that's not so inconceivable.

Sex and the drive behind it is an interesting motivator of humanity.  I guess it's the most primal.  I still wish there'd been at least one female in the bar; I might've felt a little more comfortable.  But that's the beauty of the local watering hole later in the evening, you just never know.  Unless you're in Witchita, Kansas or something.

You know, I might actually take a break from all of this myself. My girlfriend who's moving up here with her dog to live with me and my dog in this rental house I've been living in for five years recently said to me that all I seem to want to talk about lately is "gloom and doom". This comes from a beautiful, down-to-earth, canine-loving, great-hearted, successful financial planner-type person with little to no "internetal" knowledge (specifically the recent commentary on said "gloom and doom"). But this is where we learn what's really going on; you can't trust the media or the government. The most independent information available is on the internet. Look for "them" to seriously look into regulating the internet again soon.

The tone of the comments recently posted on The Housing Bubble Blog (http://thehousingbubbleblog.com/?p=3785) especially just got to me. It's the gloom & doom: the financial markets, the housing markets, unconsidered materialism... it's america.

I know I will not be able or willing to buy a house in the next (at least) two years here in Seattle. It just doesn't make sense. I've got some modest savings, no debt, and maybe I'll go back to the spiritual work I'd been doing on myself before I took this foray back into "real life".

My friends, all of this is quite depressing. Paying Attention to this is the prudent thing to do, but it's so easy to get sucked into it. Call it armageddon-fatigue.

These are very interesting times to be alive. And scary. But I'd rather have my spirit in a good place, hopefully ready to weather anything thrown at us, than make myself, yes, qwazy.

Zzzt.

The only sounds are the light I-5 traffic in the distance through the open door with a screen to keep the nonexistent bugs out: it's 35 degrees outside.  The only light: this laptop screen, the gas fireplace beyond it, and the green kitchen light reflected in the recently cleaned, dark television screen.  Other recent sounds are Squid's tags as he shakes, his claws on the kitchen's checkered linoleum, the slide-thump of him laying down in front of the fire, and his sigh as he settles in.

It's Sunday night after a Thanksgiving weekend and a bottle of cabernet sauvignon.  Work again tomorrow, a full week of it to come.  This is the Sunday night blues... an occurence repeated for, on average, fifty-two weeks a year.  It's a time for contemplation, reflection, and a peace that the cycle begins again anew with the sunrise.

Previous internetal excursions this evening included Ol' Blue Eyes' "My Way" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEbgB6X6S5c) as well as the King's version on youtube.  PBS' great concerts.  The New England Patriot's victory over the Eagles on SNF taking them to 11-0.  So much quieter tonight versus twenty-four and seventy-two hours ago when the house was full of friends, turkey and tofurkey. 

Many laughs, a good argument, and learning.

This is what it's about I think.  This Life-thing.  :)

"And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing."  Hopefully I won't die in my sleep this evening, however.  Thanks, Frankie.

There are not many times that I've felt stupid.  But today is one of those days.

Maybe it's working on a problem that I'm not able to mentally visualize in my head, see with my own eyes, or hold in my hands.  This is how I learn.  Sometimes people verbally describe a problem, replete with extended, usually irrelevant "don't you just love the sound of my voice too?" rhetoric, and expect me to understand the intricacies of what they're talking about.  But until I see it and know it, I'm worthless.  Until I understand, I usually just keep silent, listening to people spout acronyms and waving appendages across the table at each other, watching from the sidelines like a spectator at a damned tennis match.  Gawds be praised, though, if somebody actually picks up a marker and heads to the whiteboard.  Gimme something to look at!

People make so many assumptions about what people know about the big picture going into a discussion.  They just jump into details without properly scoping things out and expect people to actually contribute.  This is how you have meetings for well over an hour and, after getting kicked out of the conference room, leave with more questions and confusion than you had when you went in.  It's pointless.

Or playing Spades online on Yahoo.  For blick blak splake.  There are plenty of sociopathic morons on there, but there're also those who take the game (and their rating) quite seriously.  It's their idenity, their pride, and their baby.  Don't you dare frak that up.  I guess if you play upwards toward four thousand games, you do see subtleties in the game, bidding, and what that three of clubs really means from that grandma-headed person to your left.  But hell, I pay attention and I still get "yelled" at for not having anything but a two, four, and five of clubs to cover my partner going nil -- even though I bid five -- but that's because I'm loaded down with spades but can't play them until they've been broken.  Roast me why don't ya.

All of that above doesn't make any sense, I'm sure, but I still felt stupid tonight.  And I feel stupid for posting this.  Oh the humanity!

The whole damned thing makes me love my dog, and dogs in general, so much more.  They're not trying to understand, they're just trying to live.  They're not trying to win, they're trying to have fun.  "Kick the ball for me!" 

It's true that I have some great friends, but sometimes humanity in general just sucks.

Swiss chard.  Yay!